It’s difficult to know where to start really due to the fact that I am absolutely knackered but more of this later.
It started out looking like a great night. The Old Grey Whistle test was there already when I arrived though I am not sure he can whistle, along with Brian Rhodes and Chris Patrick, Kevin Dixon had given me a lift sans ax, Alan Noname was there already as he was sleeping in a Camper Van at the Swan, soon followed by Andee Craig and her roadie, Nixon turned up sans ax on his way back from seeing his Mum in Chester (that’s where rich people live) and it was all looking pretty buzzy.
Because, if you weren’t there, the craic doesn’t translate so well in writing I thought I would get everyone’s set list BEFORE they started. I mean everyone has a set list don’t they. Can you imagine Sir Mick getting on stage and telling Keef, I’ll let you know as I go long what we are going to play, Keef would have a shit fit.
So whilst there were a few moans I did get a set list from everyone except Alan Noname who said he only knew five songs, which later turned out to be untrue, and wouldn’t in any case give me any of the songs he knew so on the playlist there are no song titles.
Andee gave me her list and because it’s always in Gaelic she kindly wrote everything out herself and used up half a page with the titles alone. This left very little room for notes and this will become more apparent.
By doing this, in theory, it would allow me to take more notice of what was going on and drink more Mary Jane and then relate it in detail to you, the blog reader.
The two oldest attendees that night and indeed many nights are Nixon and I. Nixon’s older than me because he is taking full time authorised retirement this month, as opposed to the full time unauthorised retirement he has had for the last 15 years at least, and you will all be pleased to know we are paying his pension. Platinum Plated!!
I, on the other hand, will get an ex Metro property called Fuck Hall so I can then sell my current hovel, if anyone can get a mortgage to buy it, and then live off my life savings which amount to the same as the property I am going to get from HMG.
My point is we are old. Not ancient, just old, and with oldness comes changes to life. For instance, you get a hangover after 3 pints of beer, and it doesn’t go with an aspirin, you tend to pee a lot even when you haven’t had a drink for two days, beans do mean farts, a curry doesn’t always wait until you get home before it lets itself be known, and because you can’t run as quickly it can have dire consequences if you’re not careful, your best friend, men only, doesn’t always do what you want it to when you want it to, so no change there then, and young birds ( sorry for the misogynistic word) look kindly upon you as something to be pitied instead of a possible shag. And importantly, very importantly you need sleep!!!!!.
There was a time when I could go three days without sleep, ok there as a lot of drug abuse at the time, only decent grass and Cannabis, and some coffee type drink which I can’t recall the name of, bit like Red Bull without the speed, but we used to drink it before going to all-nighters at the String of Beads in Manor Row, for those old enough to recall, and where was no alcohol hence the dope, I could work 80 hours a week and drink all night with the odd bit of nookie thrown in, I did go with some really odd nookie, party five days a week, but with oldness this changes, With oldness hair grows out of your nostrils and a nose trimmer becomes more of a necessity than a luxury unused utensil, and gets more use than a hairbrush which becomes more of an unused utensil than a necessity, hair also grows out of your ears so the nose trimmer becomes even more useful, it’s more difficult to put socks on and putting them on without sitting down is a sheer impossibility, belts come in smaller sizes, or seem to, and the ones you have already, shrink, dry cleaning shrinks everything except underpants which become baggier, or so it seems, eyesight, well that’s to say, it isn’t!! And the less sleep you have the more crankier and obnoxious you become. Now I’m pretty obnoxious most of the time but sleep deprivation, there’s another universe.
Still with me ????
So a nice early start, 8.45 pm, ok I can live with that, Rob arrived about 9 15, always a pleasure as Rob is probably my favourite at SAS, so I like to stay for the second half if possible to get a double dose, Jimmy Jukebox arrived at 10 20 on his way home from work, as opposed to Nix for instance who is in paid unemployment, and asked how far we were into the 2nd half.
Well we weren’t!
A short break at 10 40 then back at it. I stayed because I was doing the blog, Kev stayed because he is a mate and had given me a lift, but I need sleep!!!! Kath, bless her, fell asleep. Midnight is too bloody late, 12.15 am is ridiculous and long dirges at 11 20 are bang out of order when you have pensioners, although Nix had buggered off, Kev, who is in line for it, and me, who need their sleep Otherwise we get downright F**king CRANKY!!!!!
Although my beautiful wife is a lot younger than me when it comes to lack of sleep she makes me look positively docile so, when I arrived home and she woke up at 12.30 am, you can imagine ???, Well actually no you cant.
So anyone who wants to contribute to my divorce fund please send donations to The Tent, The Big Open Space caused by BMDC knocking down the Centre of Bradford, BD1. (You may have seen my tent on TV and in the T and A.)
BUT I tell you what, there’s bugger all else in Bradford city centre so at least I am getting some SLEEP!!!
Nixon: - Part 1, TULSA TIME & KNOCKIN’ ON HEAVENS DOOR (Might be sooner than you think)
Blogger: - Part 1:-HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELVIS & GURU,
Part 2, UNREQUITED TO THE NTH DEGREE & WHATEVER HAPPENED TO US
Brian Rhodes: - Part 1, EAST WAY TO CRY, SET FIRE TO THE RAIN
Part 2 SET DOWN YOUR GLASS & A TEAM
Old Grey Whistle Test:-. Part 1, HISTORY OF A KISS & CRAZY AS A LOON
Part 2, BRIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD & Maggie May
Old Grey Whistle Test and Kath“ Shoulda Gone to Specsavers” Wylie: - Make You Feel My Love
Mike Craig: - Part 1, POLICE AND THIEVES & LOVERS WALTZ
Part 2, THE MOUNTAIN & 1952 VINCENT BLACK LIGHTNING
Andee Craig: - Part 1 (with Roadie backing group) THE FAERY FORT/NEW BROOM & RAKES OF CLONMEL/ 3 DRUMMERS
Part 2, I BURIED MY WIFE AND DANCED ON HER GRAVE/ANDY DE JARLIS
Alan Noname: - Part 1, NO IDEA & STILL NO IDEA
Part 2, EVEN LESS IDEA & I GIVE UP
Rob Watkins Part 1, TRAIN TO BIRMINGHAM &THINKING ABOUT YOU
Part 2, SWEET CAROLINA & YOUNGS TOWN
Jimmy Jukebox: - Part 2, DELICATE & NO WOMAN NO CRY